Listening Without Fixing: The Power of Empathy

The other night, an ordinary parenting moment reminded me of just how transformative empathy is.

My daughters were happily playing when it was time to pause for showers and baths. My oldest expressed her annoyance with exaggerated eye rolls, while my youngest cried all the way up the stairs. In the kitchen doing dishes, I braced myself for the usual bath-time struggles.

But then, in a moment of calm, my husband addressed them gently. “I understand,” he said. “I get upset when I have to stop in the middle of something, too, especially when it’s something I really enjoy.” Without trying to fix their feelings or minimize their frustration, he simply acknowledged them. Then he walked to the bathroom, turned on the water, and waited.

As the girls walked past me, I knelt down and asked, “Does anyone need a hug?”

My oldest stepped in for a warm embrace, while my youngest looked up and asked if she could have a dry-erase marker. A few minutes later, they took turns drawing in the playroom as my husband helped the other wash up.

After our bedtime routine, I went to their playroom and found their drawings. I wrote a message of gratitude at the bottom of each one where they’d discover them the next day. These notes were my way of saying, "Your feelings are welcome here. You can always bring them to us. We’re here to hold space for you—not to fix you."

That night reminded me of an important truth: Parenting isn’t about solving every issue or wiping away every tear. It’s about being present in the messy, emotional, beautiful moments.

When we lead with empathy, we teach our children that their feelings matter. And sometimes, that’s all they need to know.