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Bosses Tend To Not Like Me...and That is OK

Bosses tend not to like me at first...

Not my bosses, they love me! (Right John, Howard, Kit, Tui, Autumn, Robert, Sarah?!)

The bosses of my clients tend not to like me at first because of the innate human resistance to change.

We don’t like change. Especially someone else’s when we don’t have control over it.

Neurologically, resistance is an automatic reaction to change, especially when the change is initiated by someone else.

The amygdala part of our brain interprets change as a threat which causes a release in hormones that activate fear. Your body is protecting you from change - but that protection isn’t always effective.

Fear-based action is less effective than joy-based action.

Rooted in the same tools (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) but very different actions.

When you feel yourself resisting change, yours or someone else’s, check to see if that resistance is fear-based or joy-based:

Fear-based actions:

  • Judgment

  • Fight (yell, bully, say no without reason, get physical)

  • Flight (avoidance, procrastination)

  • Freeze (do nothing, zone out, isolate)

  • Fawn (inauthentic yes, perfectionism)

Joy-based actions:

  • Curiosity

  • Fight (set boundaries, say no with reason, be assertive)

  • Flight (assess situation, walk away to protect boundaries, disengage from unhealthy dialogue)

  • Freeze (pause, awareness, breathe, mindfulness)

  • Fawn (compassion, listen, fairness)



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